Why Can't I Let Go of My Tattered Panties?
When I turned 28, I took a vow to stop wearing clothing with unintentional holes in them. It felt like a good step towards adulthood. To rid my life of items that ripped and didn't look good with said tear. But when it came to my underwear, I found it particularly hard to let go. The t-shirt that I spent good money on got the immediate boot but my fraying Joe Boxer briefs from middle school were nearly impossible to throw away. Why, I wondered? What is it about shabby underwear that makes it so hard to let go of?
So, in an effort to normalize this struggle (I'm talking to you, Ms. Ratty Panty who feels alone in the world), I came up with some reasons. Because on the journey to Life With No Holes, specifying and acknowledging the hardship is a necessary step to take before being able to overcome. The butt stops here.
Here's why you're not letting go of your pathetic underwear. Yet.
1) It's underwear! What does it really matter? If it truly doesn't matter to you, that's totally fine and I support that. But if you're making up this excuse out of fear, challenge it and talk back to those torn lacey thangs. It matters because you decided it does so respect that choice and be brave in letting go.
2) I'll wear them one more time and throw them away once they're clean. Don't you see what's happening here? This is a vicious loop that you'll never fall out of if you don't put your foot down! You'll wash the undies, find them in your clean laundry, put them away, wear them again, and face the same dilemma. So if you come across a rip or tear in the middle of the day, say goodbye as you undress. Bury them at the bottom of your trashcan if you gotta.
3) I won't find a pair as good. Oh, come on now. You know that one isn't true. Granted, you may have to go through a trial and error phase, but you'll be okay and find true love again. Trust me and the universe. Panty Passion will not leave you forever if you let go of that torn pair.
4) We've been through so much together. Of course you have and that's a beautiful thing! But your old, sad underwear want you to move on without them. You and your hair have been through a lot together too but that doesn't mean you don't cut it (and don't let me plant any crazy thoughts on your head [get it?]). Respect the cycle of life.
5) Period panties. Enough said. There's no reason to be big mess when it's that time of the month so no underwear downgrading allowed. You should feel good every day of the month. Arguably better that time of the month.
Now that you can pinpoint exactly what's holding you back, think about things for a day and revisit your underwear drawer in the morning. You'll feel in a better and safer place, ready to cut those gross pairs out of your life.